@BumbleDC: If a malevolent demon is watching you sleep, simply go to Settings > General > Privacy > Malevolent Demon Who Watches You Sleep (Deactivate)
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@ddsmidt: When someone reads your message, then never responds, it's just hurtful. I mean, what else could they possibly have going on at 3 AM?
@Humor_Fetish: Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices