@BumbleDC: If a malevolent demon is watching you sleep, simply go to Settings > General > Privacy > Malevolent Demon Who Watches You Sleep (Deactivate)
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@Brianhopecomedy: I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
@blade_funner: Doctor: You have to stop eating donuts... Me: OK D:...so that I can start the operation. M: [STUFFING DONUT UNDER OXYGEN MASK] For later.
@MikeCanRant: A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand.