@Georg_Grey: If a man strikes thee on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown thyself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him.
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@AnkCoupleTO: [skating together on a frozen pond] Her: Isn't this romantic? Me: *sees a 'danger thin ice' sign, makes a beeline for it* hell yeah
@LeBearGirdle: [America's Got Talent] Howie: so how long have you been juggling chainsaws? Me: actually *lights them on fire* this will be my first time