@TheDinky: If a mugger ever asks me to draw an uppercase cursive Q or he'll shoot, tell my family I died a hero... #hero #cootertales
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@SadPeruna: Sorry about your lost dog. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it.
@dshack8: At this point in my life if I drop something and can't pick it up with my foot or via one of my kids, it's staying on the floor.
@pattymo: *cocks shotgun* I asked you a question: in order to ride a pug would you rather be shrunk to its size or have it grown to your size
@mexinonblonde: Don't ever leave a bag of mini Heath bars at your desk to prove you can't be tempted.... Because Satan's game is strong