@OfficialBanks93: If a murderer wanted to lure me out of my room all he'd have to do is turn off my wifi cause sure as shit i'm gonna see why it aint working
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@morgan_murphy: I don't think I could be a mom. Listening to another person cry all night just seems awful & I wouldn't want to impose that on a baby.
@SteveSuckington: "What if I tried to put a ball somewhere and you tried to stop me" -guy who invented sports
@gringothespice: My wife punched me during sex last night. Probably a good idea that my mistress and I do it at her place next time.