@OfficialBanks93: If a murderer wanted to lure me out of my room all he'd have to do is turn off my wifi cause sure as shit i'm gonna see why it aint working
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@Home_Halfway: Kidnapping is a dumb crime because you're literally forcing yourself to hang out with someone
@NintenDom: I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it's never fully connected with me. And also because I caught my neighbour using it.
@Tbone7219: I like to reassure my girlfriend that even though I don't have big muscles she is always safe with me cause I'm a really loud screamer.
@Sickayduh: NURSE: Doctor, I've lost the cat's pulse VET: Ok. Time of death is 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, and 10:05