@waydybee: if a pea-brain is someone with a small brain, then a peacock is someone with a ...? no?
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@shegotagronk: You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
@KKBowls: [at my house after 1st date] me: so, do you wanna have some sex? her: well, I don't normally do this...but I think I'll pass
@pattonoswalt: "Snowmageddon"? We can do better, Twitter. #SnowCountryForOldMen #ISnowWhatYouDidLastWinter #SnowMommaFromTheTrain #Snowverfield