@waydybee: if a pea-brain is someone with a small brain, then a peacock is someone with a ...? no?
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@internetluke: [interview for fireman] "So why do you think you're a good fireman?" I lit the building on fire "What?" Now watch as I try to put it out
@XplodingUnicorn: My toddler took her toy phone and hit me in the head with it. It was still less painful than a real phone call.