@fleshcake: If a puppy stabbed me in the face and stole my car, I'd still be like, "aww."
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@lazerdoov: I like to picture my mom in the middle of the crowd at a Wu Tang concert, hands on her hips, just shouting grammar corrections back at them
@RandomManik: Out of all Katherine Heigl films, I enjoyed the one where she starts with being a prude but ends up having fun with a guy and falls in love.
@bornmiserable: [Verizon] SALESMAN: Can I interest you in our friends and family plan? BATMAN: [just starts crying]