@briangaar: If a restaurant can afford to advertise on national television, you should never eat there
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@StrawburyDelite: Apparently, my office doesn't think the women's restroom needs a tampon disposal, so wrapped it up and put it in their suggestion box.
@SirEviscerate: *holding huge scissors* I hereby declare The Factory That Makes High Voltage Wires That Look Like Ceremonial Ribbons officially open for-
@FKACornshucks: Me: I want to do unspeakable things to you. Her: Tell me... Me: Do you know what unspeakable means Lydia?