@jenlaw_11: If a server comes to my table and asks 'hows everythin tasting?' mid chew I like to grab their wrist and keep them there until I can answer
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@Goofpoops: Cop cars aren't very intimidating. Add a crazy plow covered in blood, an anarchy symbol and spinning saw blades and I'll stop in a heartbeat
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Bookstore] Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book* Cashier: How old is your daughter? Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is
@ElliotHetherton: [Funeral] He died doing what he loved; throwing rocks at bears and saying "it's fine, they're way more scared of us than we are of them"