@JasonLastname: If a shark attacks you, DO NOT punch him in the nose. Be the bigger person and just ignore him.
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@iGreenMonk: I just hate when these girls take selfies on road specially when i am peeing in the background.
@Reverend_Scott: [interview] Okay, don't let him know ur a vampire. "What kind of person do u see when u look in the mirror?" OH COME ON
@SteveSuckington: Me: "people always think I'm gay! Do I put off a gay vibe?" Guy whose back I'm massaging in a bubble bath: "maybe a little"