@AmberTozer: If a shark is ever attacking me I'm gonna be like where are your parents do they know you act like this
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@_Tempo11: I wonder if my dog gets embarrassed when I give him kisses in front of other dogs at the park.
@ClichedOut: I picked up carry-out and the guy asked if I wanted to leave a tip. Yeah. Offer delivery.
@daemonic3: [at Waldo's trial] Judge: Jury, how do you find the defendant? Jury: We the jury find the defendant by looking in the top left of the page