@KeetRidley: If a tree falls in the woods and the wife's not there to witness it, it'll be my fault when i get home.
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@briangaar: Republicans: Don't let Syrians in! Trump: Don't let ANY Muslims in! Republicans: TOO FAR (dude be cool, we’ve got an election to win)
@TheTweetOfGod: Do not squander your short time on earth acquiring worldly possessions. Instead, try to get laid a lot.
@FrizerkaSandra: Whoever said you cannot live off of wine and cheese alone did not try hard enough.