@CVTBaby: If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it, he still tries to play it off like he meant it so the other trees don't laugh.
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@david8hughes: If your dog & your baby are fighting, it's important to leave them to it so that a pack leader can be established.
@PerkyandSaggy: *Girl opens Xmas present* "Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?" "Wait but that means-" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: Baby, do that thing that makes me hot Me: *kisses her neck* H: *slaps me* I MEANT turn the thermostat up dummy, it's freezing in here
@bingowings14: You shouldn't underestimate the number of places that you can't put your finger after you've been chopping chillies.