@CVTBaby: If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it, he still tries to play it off like he meant it so the other trees don't laugh.
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@sarcasm_inc: "2015 AND PETSMART STILL DOESN'T HAVE FITTING ROOMS," I say somewhat loudly as Fluffy has to try on sweaters right there in the aisle.
@fro_vo: *puts on white shirt* *accidentally spills coffee* *takes off shirt* *shoves shirt into coffee pot* *puts on brown shirt*
@theshamingofjay: If the picture you took of the bad weather while driving isn't followed by a picture of your car crash then it wasn't that bad.