@IamEnidColeslaw: If a tree falls in the woods can I stand under it so I don't have to go to work tomorrow?
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@LDLevesque: I always envisioned Hermione as a burly, middle-aged Italian fellow, so imagine my surprise when the films revealed her to be a little girl.
@Cheeseboy22: When people ask, "Don't I know you from somewhere?", I reply "Yes, we were best friends as children until you murdered my puppy."
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Tim: This is Tim from accounting. Me: Hi Tim from accounting. Tim: Just say Tim. Me. Tim. Tim: How are you today? Me: Tim.
@Parentpains: Apparently, women only enjoy a nice romantic breakfast in bed when they know how you got in their house.