@landonashworth: If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
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@citizenkawala: When a millenial asks why everyone in old photos have red eyes I tell them they were too young to remember the great demon uprising of the 1980s.
@PlatinumShower: Every time the wife pisses me off, I hollow out her tampons and pack them with strawberry Pop Rocks.
@causticbob: Its funny how your parents tell you its their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.