@TheWoodenslurpy: If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary
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@Rich_McCarthy: Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife "promised" she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I'm livid.
@meladoodle: Hate it when dudes say "leave something to the imagination!" like what do you think is under my clothes? a mystery prize? a pumpkin? Obama?
@AaronFullerton: Really, every section of the greeting card aisle could be called "Societal Obligation."
@FeverFlave: As a parent, I spend far too much time identifying what's stuck to the ceiling.
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