@TheWoodenslurpy: If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@garrettbarry70: Wife. Would you cut the label off my dress. Me. Sure *Snip* There you go. Wife. Thanks. Me. No problem. *Kicks pony tail under bed.
@ThatRascalPuff: Teacher: Any questions *raises hand* T: NO DUMB ONES "Can you see continent names from space" T: FOR FU-..ugh...Not if it's cloudy bud
@KenJennings: Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's "Dinosaurs" were all different species of dinosaur