@donni: Might get a Gatorade logo tattoo to symbolize my contempt for thirst.
@garrettbarry70: Wife. Would you cut the label off my dress.
Me. Sure *Snip* There you go.
Wife. Thanks.
Me. No problem.
*Kicks pony tail under bed.
@ThatRascalPuff: Teacher: Any questions
*raises hand*
T: NO DUMB ONES
"Can you see continent names from space"
T: FOR FU-..ugh...Not if it's cloudy bud
@KenJennings: Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's "Dinosaurs" were all different species of dinosaur
@gabeserra: My 3 yr old's idea of comedic timing is waiting till we're at least 10 minutes away from house to tell me he's not wearing any shoes.
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