@SergioValenCo: If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
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@notalogin: Almost every branch of science has a pseudoscience associated with it: chemistry and alchemy, astronomy and astrology, math and economics...
@moose_chocolate: Music star Kenny Rogers announced his retirement yesterday. In other news, Kenny Rogers is still alive, apparently.
@WickedRapunzel: Customer: Can someone else serve us? Me:? C:I don't want my children exposed to the sin of your tattoos. M: Satan wants their tiny souls.
@DaddyJew: Relationship threats: teens: i'll cheat on you 20's: i'll go to the bar with my boys 30's: I'm gonna watch all of our shows without you