@RobDenBleyker: If a woman asks you to guess her age, always subtract 10 years from your estimate. IMPORTANT: Do NOT do this if she's in her early twenties.
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@sara_ashlynn: I'm a long-term thinker. For instance, the green bananas I bought will be delicious in 2 days.
@Playing_Dad: Cop: Wife shot the husband for bothering her while reading a book Sargent: You arrested her? C: No S: Why? C: She's not done with the book
@BonaFideIntent: Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that.
@Smethanie: Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going.