@TheMichaelRock: If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you'll be dead soon.
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@fanofhell: Cop: show us where the hamburgers are, hamburglar Hamburglar: you've got the wrong guy. I steal ham. You're thinking of hamburgerburglar
@batkaren: We've secretly replaced Janet's coffee with melatonin capsules. Let's see if— okay yeah, she noticed. She looks pissed. Sleepy, but pissed…
@whytruy: Obama: joe can you please explain all the cheetos that are in the kitchen Biden: I didn't want Trump to feel- Obama: Joe, Biden: ...lonely