@OhNoSheTwitnt: If a woman wears a ponytail holder on her wrist at all times that means she's always down to pull her hair back and fight you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KalvinMacleod: CASHIER: would you like to donate one dollar to charity? ME: no thank you SATAN (sitting on a throne made of human skulls): excellent choice
@radtoria: [intercom] Please stop putting clown shoes on the sacrificial goat. The ritual is in 3 days & the other cults aren't taking us seriously.
@amydillon: Day 1,459 of my son acting shocked and aggrieved when I tell him to go brush his teeth before bed.