@jshires92: If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnaping?
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@envydatropic: I'm buying a gallon of organic milk and now I don't know how to tell my family that I'm out of money for Christmas gifts
@shkeeber: *camera pans to a pair of sneakers hanging over a power line* *Sean Connery takes a long drag of his cigarette* "It was a... shoeishide"
@iAmDelFreaky: I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn't taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot.