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@GoogleChamiya: If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
@TheAlexNevil: Me: I must be out of my mind.
Me: You and me both.
@RocketRankoon: [In the middle of shootout]
Hey, can I borrow your chapstick?
@UncleDuke1969: [Marvel pitch meeting]
“C’mon, just hear me out...”
“The answer is still no, Ted.”
@_queenofcool: You're not a hopeless romantic. You're just stupid.
@Pork_Chop_Hair: I don’t think the water lizards run on the water always. I think it’s a “oh hey I forgot something” or “shit it’s the cops, run” thing.