@GoogleChamiya: If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
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@canadasandra: Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
@DaddyJew: [ cookout ] Me: OMG this ketchup is amazing! Host: yea yea we all know you brought the ketchup
@DanMentos: "Bob's here" Bob from work or Bob THE HARBINGER OF DEATH *an icy wind blows as black clouds consume the sky* "Bob from work" *clouds recede*
@TheBigBatman: Do you ever get shampoo in your eyes and wonder what the name of your guide dog will be?