@SteveSuckington: If aliens are supposed to be so much more advanced than us, how did ET not know about texting?
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@JasonLastname: Password insecurity questions: 1. What was your highschool nickname? 2. How would you describe your breath? 3. What's wrong with your toes?
@julietactually: him: what are u wearing me: overalls him: do u want to slip into something more comfortable me: more comfortable than overalls? wtf
@drinksmcgee: Her: So how did you get this scar? *flashback to a drunken fight with an Emu Me *proudly: I got in a drunken fight with an Emu