@darinlovesbacon: If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I'm very skilled at shooting aliens this way
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@JKNenagh: a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said... don't do it man ... you will never here the end of it!
@ibid78: When life hands you lemons make sure those lemons aren't evidence in a murder that life's trying to frame you for.
@beefman138: Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I'm guessing it's the same place you're going.