@InternetHippo: If all millennials suddenly died the next day’s article would be “How millennials are driving up funeral costs”
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@Chelsea_Elle: So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
@BlindChow: INTERVIEWER: it says here on your resume that you're good at small talk? ME: ʸᵉˢ INTERVIEWER: holy shit
@QwertyJones3: Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I'll have to turn to Facebook.