@wendyraepearce: If all my Facebook friends followed me on twitter, I'd be dragged to church for an exorcism.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong.
@JasonLight73: If the camera adds 10 lbs. & Mirrors don't lie..Why in the World would a Woman ever take her picture in the bathroom mirror? It defies logic
@david8hughes: [lying with girlfriend & looking up at the stars] "Hey--" *points to shooting star* "You've put on a lot of weight."
@DadandBuried: You'll never know how creative you really are until you need to start lying to your kids.