@UNTRESOR: If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you Instagram it?
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@ashmensch: This lady at the Edible Arrangement store acts like no one's ever asked for a corn dog bouquet before.
@Petote: 911! I just murdered a bunch of people 911: omg on purpose? Hang on lemme ask, did I murder anyone by mistake?.. No one is answering, So..
@Scorpio1080: Black Friday: Because Only in America, People trample others for Sales the day after being thankful for what they already have
@ClichedOut: I picked up carry-out and the guy asked if I wanted to leave a tip. Yeah. Offer delivery.