@ChaseMit: If an Elvis impersonator dies, doesn't he kind of become the best Elvis impersonator
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@nealbrennan: If people post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
@jazmasta: [loudly so dad who's been depressed since mom left can hear] Oh no, my GPS broke! If only I had some good DRIVING DIRECTIONS *dad looks up*
@ArfMeasures: DATE: I'm a historian, I love the mediaeval era ME: [trying to impress her] *dies at 28*