@StellaRtwot: If an interviewer asks you: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" say "I don't know, did you see me pull up in a DaLorean?"
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@desiswaaag: HOW I DRESS FOR UNIVERSITY First day of the week: brad pitt Last day of the week: homeless druggie
@i_wantMyBiitch: Never ask Google for relation advice. I've gone from small disagreement to getting two mails from divorce lawyers in three clicks.
@SondraDeeMe: My boyfriend called my skirt a petticoat and now he's paying bills using a quill on parchment paper wearing his wooden false teeth.
@Reverend_Scott: Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy.