@StellaRtwot: If an interviewer asks you: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" say "I don't know, did you see me pull up in a DaLorean?"
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@Griffinreborn: In 2009 we lost Michael Jackson. Now we lost Neil Armstrong. We are running out of moon walkers
@Reverend_Scott: JUDGE: I find you guilty of murder. Sentenced to life. LAWYER: But it was only 20 minutes of murder. JUDGE: Oh, then you're free to go.
@underchilde: I was sad nobody would go jogging with me, so I threw a rock at my neighbor, and when he started chasing me I felt much better.