@StellaRtwot: If an interviewer asks you: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" say "I don't know, did you see me pull up in a DaLorean?"
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@aparnapkin: Sometimes my stomach will make a noise and my brain will be like ok I never signed off on that
@Breadery: My daughter got a sticker from her teacher that said 'resilient tortoise.' I've sent her in with one to give in return, 'patronizing hippo.'
@bingowings14: As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.