@OrangeFact: If an Orange tries to sell you drugs, don't buy them. Chances are you've already done enough drugs.
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@jwoodham: Hey [STOP] Got your voicemail earlier [STOP] I'm replying with a telegram because you're apparently a big fan of outdated technology [STOP]
@fricken_jess: Cool story bro, needs more dragons and shit - how Game of Thrones started, probably.
@bumble_weed: If a tree falls in the woods it usually tries to do that awkward jog to make it look like it didn't trip but hahahah it did. It totally did.
@Fred_Delicious: *sees a hot girl on the train* "ay gurl check this out" *i try to seductively eat a banana but i miss my mouth & smush it into my forehead*