@ShakespeareSong: If Anne hath a will, Anne Hathaway.
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@AndyAsAdjective: When the chips are down, be a good friend & say a few kind words to the chips. See if that helps.
@sexncake: I'm trying to become a vegetarian so from now I'm only eating seafood. Like lobster, prawns and drowned cows.
@TeaAndCopy: [Putting petrol in car] １９.９５ １９.９６ １９.９７ [stops] [gently now] １９.９８ [very gently] １９.９９ [ok, once more] [deep breath] ３７.８３ GODDAMMIT
@kumailn: If I had a time machine I'd go back 10 years and tell myself "Write down the names of all the people you loan stuff to."