@robdelaney: If any cheetahs are reading this, please do not eat my son.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs.
@Renie_Rivas: I've never wanted a mansion. Not because I'm modest- I just don't need more places to lose my keys.
@vaniaperruzza: When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response? I like to be prepared.
@TheDairylandDon: I swallow at least one note per meal that says "we're all really proud of you," in case the person who does my autopsy is having a bad day.