@robdelaney: If any cheetahs are reading this, please do not eat my son.
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@dankmccoy: Insane Clown Posse is really giving a bad name to all the rational clown posses out there.
@AGreaterMonster: This is serious as a heart attack but not one of those funny heart attacks. Those make me laugh.
@andreeahluscu: Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.
@E_lok44: I shaved my legs today and drew the hair back on. I don't get it, eyebrow ladies, I don't get it.