@causticbob: If you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages. That's nothing, because if you play it forwards, it installs Windows

@abbycohenwl: -You think I'd make a bad Private Eye 'cause I can't read body language? I will prove you wrong! -Sir, you're talking to the murder victim

@vvvolte: does anyone know what to do if you carve a pumpkin that is too scary. i cant go in my kitchen

@vineyille: I slip the nun 30 bucks and real quiet-like ask to see the “strong orphans.”

@lawblob: Bowser is a job creator and the largest employer in the mushroom kingdom