@KeithAshers: If any ladies out there need jars opened or items from a high shelf, HomeDepot sells rubber grips & ladders. -match.com bio
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@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car as being stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the rear window are white.
@mjkspeaks: [meeting with boss] "I need you to go back and fix something that broke yesterday." "I DON'T EVEN HAVE A TIME MACHINE!"
@JosesLovesYou: Sometimes I loiter outside of Victoria's Secret just so people think I have a girlfriend.
@Cyd10e: Ladies, if Men had PMS they'd get into fist fights, defraud partners, start wars, abuse women, stop paying child support..HEY-wait a minute!