@Marlebean: If anyone asks, I'm drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
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@TheCatWhisprer: [at home on video conference call] Yeah boss I don't know why I keep dropping. Maybe my connection is bad. *pauses Netflix on 2nd monitor*
@TankCesar: *murderer looking for me* Murderer: I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me... Me under bed: *cry sings* He's just a poor boy from a poor family
@BatBatshitcrazy: Rum: We've replaced her depth perception with fun house mirrors, now we wait. *misses last two stairs, face plants* Rum: tee-hee
@liamoryan: Rest of world: don't do anything crazy plz UK: fk u we used to own u watch this *does backflip *money falls out of pockets *cracks head open