@Marlebean: If anyone asks, I'm drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
@FilthyRichmond: New hobby: Swap text for sponsored ads
@AngelaEhh: *licks ice cream cone
Cone: I have a boyfriend.
@PortRooster: Moon: Yo, Earth! Constant revolution?! Why so angry?
Earth: You just don't understand the gravity of the situation.
Sun: Oooh... Burn!!!
@TwoSapphiresBlu: My mating call in winter is just me shaving my legs.
@daemonic3: Is this your resume?
It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away
Welcome to UPS!