@Mr_Kapowski: If anyone can remember the jokes from Popsicle sticks, I'll be exposed for the fraud I am
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@LindaInDisguise: Me: It's been 3 years, but I'm finally making progress on my book. Friend: You're writing a book? Me: No. I meant the book I'm reading.
@NYC_Blonde: Let's all take a moment to honor National Punctuation Day because life would be: very, confusing! Without it?
@NikkiGlaser: What if ISIS started claiming responsibility for nice things like when my mom says, "who emptied the dishwasher?!"