@writerPT: Calm down, people on FB who ran the Detroit marathon. I'd be running a shit load too if I were in Detroit.

@KyleCrunk: Do not apologize for your dog coming up to me because this is exactly what I wanted

@Parkerlawyer: My client's (soon to be ex) wife just flipped me off in the courthouse parking lot, so yeah, I'm obviously doing my job right.

@ericsshadow: If the salesman doesn't come with me on the test drive, I just take the car home and wait for them to come get it. I have so many cars now.

@squirrel74wkgn: [at Goodwill store] *buys pants that I gave them 6 months ago*