@TheRolo: *Rides unicorn to work* *Gives Bigfoot hi-five* *Chats with mermaids* *Argues with Medusa* *Gets called in to HR* *Fails drug test*

@fro_vo: Cap: good morning Avengers let's begin Iron Man: wait spider-man is missing Open Mouth Man: weird he was here when i went to sleep last nite

@yaboybillnye: SCIENCE FACT: if you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

@dysalexia: You guys I found this new great birth control called pregnant women posting pictures on Facebook.

@truegritrumble: ME: I'm allergic to suggestions. FRIEND: You should get that checked out. ME: *swelling up like a balloon* You're not the boss of me.