@McNevich: Hi guys! Nick is very handsome and an amazing cook. Are there any nice girls interested inMOM GET OFF MY TWITTER YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING

@TyEros: You need subtitles. Me to every 2yr old.

@SwedishCanary: Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but it's not necessary to show it off.

@orny_xo: Wait, Fellatio isn't a flavor of ice cream?!

@Sassafrantz: When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it.