@myles_morrison: If anyone tried to steal my identity I would just think "now it's their problem."
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@thesulk: Whenever teachers say 'show your work', just write a bunch of numbers down and hope they're tired that night.
@Phoebetate: Shout out to my body for reminding me that, while I'm too old to have the tiny waist of a 15yo, I'm not too old for a pimple on the forehead
@ObscureGent: Home Alone teaches us that a child can't pack a suitcase but can create a fully functional flame thrower to harm a small New Jersey man.