@wolfpupy: if anyone tries to tell you your dreams are unachievable just remember i have crashed my dirt bike into all 7 wonders of the world
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@TheDairylandDon: Where do avocados come from? Uh, well, when a crocodile loves a pear very much...
@T_Bonezzz_: Waiter: What can I get for you? Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked? M: By anyone other than my wife
@markedly: ME: This man's robbing me COP: No he's not M: He was doing it a second ago *puts robber's hand on wallet* come on why aren't you robbing now
@philyuck: COP: Did the suspect have a birthmark? MARK: He's alive so I'm assuming he had a birth, yes.