@wolfpupy: if anyone tries to tell you your dreams are unachievable just remember i have crashed my dirt bike into all 7 wonders of the world
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@FreudsTwin: Mad scientist- Checks for Labs Bartender- Checks for Tabs Boxer- Checks for Jabs Uber- Checks for Cabs Your back - Checks for Stabs
@ThaJawn: Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football..
@SteveSuckington: Do these jeans make me look fat? And don't cover your nose this time! -Pinocchio's girlfriend
@Thrill_Tweeter: [The mid 20s catch up] "What are you drinking, who you seeing?" [The midlife catchup] "Who's your therapist, what are you taking for it?"