@bridger_w: If approached by a bear, you can play dead, or you can acknowledge the bear, say hello, and see what it needs. Have some decency
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@JediGigi: [1st date] Him: What do you do for fun? Me: I like pretending I'm someone else. Him: Wow? You do impersonations? Me: No, I steal identities.
@TheSanch14: Boss: why do you deserve this promotion? Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant B: what drugs are you on? Me: good ones *leaves*
@Manda_like_wine: Son, your father and I have something to tell you - you were adopted. Your new parents are waiting outside in the car.