@WheelTod: If asked at a job interview "what's your biggest weakness", test their tolerance for honesty by replying "mortality"
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@trevso_electric: Posing with your cat to attract men is like posing with your cat to attract men,
@Dishy2101: I used to think LOL meant lots of love. Oh! You're Aunt died? So sorry. LOL! Took me years to rebuild friendships.
@primawesome: Sorry I'm late, there was a dad yelling at his teenage son for buying $90 jeans and I had to hear every word of it.
@AnkCoupleTO: [breakfast table] Me: Who killed the entire box of Lucky Charms? 8: Not me 9: Not me CEREAL KILLER: Not me either