@AnitaHelmet: If at first you don't succeed, it's called 'Attempted' Murder.
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@ndmckeown: I keep my friends clothes and my enemies toaster. As a result, they're now all my enemies, but they're naked & having cereal for brekkie.
@hyperblastchic: Me: Gouda would pair nicely with this merlot! Priest: This is communion... M: Oh. Gouda would taste well with the blood of Chr- P: Leave.
@junejuly12: Funny that when some people go out for 'fresh air', they come back in smelling like 'weed'
@Shock_Monster: Driving back from funeral yesterday: Stairway To Heaven *click* Tears In Heaven *click* Highway To Hell *click* Macarena! *leaves it*