@AnitaHelmet: If at first you don't succeed, it's called 'Attempted' Murder.
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@QwertyJones3: Fun prank: Super glue a baby to the floor and see how many people try to pick it up as they walk by
@BeCoco77: I'll apologize for burning your house down if you apologize for telling me I "overreact."
@Sir_Strange: Women who don't even acknowledge your existence just want you to try harder. I recommend hiding naked in her closet with a block of cheese.
@lanyardigan: Now imagine how close together the presidents' bodies are, under their Mount Rushmore heads.