@LionJenkins: If at first you don't succeed, you're assembling furniture from IKEA.
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@FatherWithTwins: I asked my 5yo not to do something, and he just smiled maniacally and nodded his head until I gave up. I'm going to try this on my wife.
@ehchino: "What is your reason for divorce?" She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'