@LionJenkins: If at first you don't succeed, you're assembling furniture from IKEA.
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@UNTRESOR: [meeting GF's mom] Wow! This must be your sister! Your baby sister! *shakes keys in front of her face* I'm overselling this, aren't I?
@behindyourback: Death be not proud. Death not so great with words, but happy to go out with any girl you want fix Death up with.
@VictorscarletJ: I know we just got divorced, but would you mind showing my girlfriend how to make an omelet the way I like them?