@TheTalkingPipe: If attacked by a bear you should play dead. If that doesn't work play "Total Eclipse Of The Heart". Bears love that song.
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@SortaBad: I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
@theshamingofjay: A soft drink is just a drink that needs a minute. Just give it a minute, this has never happened to it before.
@MrsMikePatton: Maybe if we press "2" for Spanish, we'll actually get someone that speaks English better then the person on the "1" line.
@markleggett: "When you wish upon a star, it takes trillions of years for the wish to get there, and by that stage you're dead." - Neil deGrasse Tyson.