@Juicedballs: If babies named Todd don't call themselves "The Toddler" then what's the point of having a douchebag baby name like Todd?
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@SamSykesSwears: "If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump." "Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."
@TheAlexNevil: The Grammy performers prove that no matter age, sex, race, religion or looks, I have no idea who most them are.
@IamEveryDayPpl: <first date> Him: *wipes mouth and tosses napkin on unfinished plate* Me: *seductively slides napkin to the side and finishes his meal*
@ShittyComedian: I was having sex with this woman for 10 minutes before I realized it was a man, and then for like 20 minutes after.