@PearlsFromMyrna: If Barb wears leopard print to another funeral, I’m buying a dart gun.
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@WheelTod: Julian Assange became a role model for hackers worldwide by crashing at a friend's place indefinitely & never paying his share of any bills.
@WonderMonkey78: Atheists don't believe in God or the "i before e except after c" rule of spelling.
@pinupteacher: Two praying mantis' sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I Oh shit, did you see that? Daaaamn. She straight up ate him.
@Michael1979: OMG, just found my childhood diary! I was an adorable and strangely prescient little boy.