@neiltyson: If Bears ruled the world, I wonder if they would care whether or not the Humans they mauled were free-range.
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@OfficeofSteve: If you forget what it's like to talk on a Pay Phone, just lick the handle of a shopping cart
@hippieswordfish: *guy collapses* ICE CREAM MAN: does anyone know CPR DOCTOR:*looks at ice cream cones in both his hands, looks up, then slowly walks away*
@cervixsmash: Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing
@Vice_Queen: Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene except it's me throat punching you for trying to eat my food.