@neiltyson: If Bears ruled the world, I wonder if they would care whether or not the Humans they mauled were free-range.
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@mindykaling: When I wear those trendy sports bras with a million straps I get stuck in them like a seagull in a six pack ring
@sarcasticmommy4: I saw a lady jogging in the rain & I was like, "how sad, she doesn't know she could be sleeping in her bed right now."
@TheAlexNevil: *watching an old Lassie show Me: How come you can't do those things? Dog (mutters): If we had a well I'd push you into it.