@ndiquote: If being sexy is a crime then I'm not committing one.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@InternetHippo: Look, if you didn’t want to go to prison you should’ve started a war or destroyed the economy. But you downloaded a movie, you felon
@WheelTod: It's amazing the little things you learn about your kids as they grow everyday. For example today I learned my 3yo is kind of a mean drunk.
@hobo_hands: Having swords for arms was a terrible first wish but it was a genie and I blurt weird things out when I panic.
@Roweboat13G: I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.