@ndiquote: If being sexy is a crime then I'm not committing one.
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@BenjyHimmel: *wearing an apron and oven mitts* This is an old family recipe *I take a bag of M&Ms out of the freezer*
@SadieSkyNinja: If they cause you to have anxiety & panic attacks the majority of your relationship, move on. In related news, I just broke up with my mom
@tastefactory: "What's taking the pharmacist so long? It's just one prescription" *behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*
@Mr_Kapowski: The tiny little pocket on a pair of jeans is great if you want to only be able to access your coinage by doing a handstand at a register