@ericsshadow: If being successful was an amusement park, I'm the kid that drove his bumper car in the corner and can't get out.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JustDontBugMe: Me: Another nightmare? Him: Why? M: You were yelling "Dora the Explorer help! No Swiper, no!" H: ... M: Maybe lay off the cartoons, bruh.
@ObscureGent: My favorite act of vengeance is befriending your dad and convincing him that dread locks would look cool on him.
@mrtruthandsoul: My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!
@amishschool: My doctor said I can get back to my college weight if I simply go for a brisk three hundred mile walk each morning.