@KKAlThani: If "Bieber fever" is when a Bieber song comes on the radio & you start throwing up & stabbing yourself, then yes I had Bieber fever once.
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@roadkill3x: Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back.
@mattZillaaaa: Whenever someone tells me "make yourself at home" at their house, I always clog their toilet
@notalogin: Dog: I'm a man's best friend, he even named one of his teeth after me. Pussycat: Yeah, you're not gonna win this one.
@CulturedRuffian: Waiter: Would you like regular or decaf? Me: Do you want me to tip you with real money or Monopoly money?