@IncrediblyRich: If Bob The Builder's slogan is "Can he fix it?" then he's not really a builder is he? More of a repairman.
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@YayForJam: Order a pizza then act confused when it arrives. "A delivery for Aaron? Aarons DEAD. He DIED ordering a pizza in this house 10 years ago"
@KindOfASmartass: Me: My daughters are 15, 13, and 10. Her: Do you want more kids? Me: Hahahahahahahaha Her: Is that a no? Me: *Deep breathe* Hahahahahaha
@behindyourback: The worst is that a 27 y/o who wanted to marry Charles Manson & charge ppl to see his corpse had more of a future financial plan than we do.
@ArfMeasures: ME: Humans have 10,000 taste buds. Cats have 470 SON: So cats don't have much taste CAT [watching the emoji movie] haha this is hilarious